1. Think Before Speaking
When someone asks you a question, don’t just immediately start talking. Take at least ten to twenty seconds (or more) to think about the question and how you want to answer.When I first started dating my husband, I used to get impatient when it would take him a long time to answer my questions but then I realized he was thinking about what to say and I wasn’t used to someone actually taking the time to ponder the question.
It touched me so much, I started to do the same and it is amazing how much people really appreciate it when you take their questions seriously.
2. Choose Your Words Consciously
Just because something makes sense to you does not mean it will make sense to the other person.I have a friend who has a very strange sense of humor. Most of the time, it sounds like he is insulting you but in reality he is not. I don’t think he is aware of what he does and he is always amazed that people get mad at him or feel hurt after speaking to him.
Painful words can cause more damage than physical pain, so choose your words consciously and carefully. Not everyone is willing to give another person a second chance. A sentence uttered without thinking can cause a person to lose their job or end a relationship.
3. Speak Your Truth
Many times when we talk to someone, we like to give off a certain image. We want to appear as perfect as possible. We want the other person to like us and to think highly of us. Therefore, many people try too hard to be something they are not and they end up acting that way through a conversation.The best thing you can do for yourself is to be yourself. That means speaking your truth. This does not mean you have to be rude or mean. You can speak your truth with compassion and kindness.
For example, I once met someone who was very critical of people who were vegans. The funny thing was that the person had no idea that I have been a vegan (vegetarian) for 21 years. I had two choices. I could either play along or tell the truth. I went ahead and told the guy the truth.
I was calm and told him that I understood his point of view. I went on and shared with him my thoughts on the issue. We ended up having a really great conversation and neither one of us ever had to raise our voice. No one likes to be lied to so don’t lie about who you are.
4. Mean What You Say
If when talking to someone, you tell them that you will send them a certain document by a certain date, do keep your word. You will earn a lot of respect when you follow through with your promises.If you have no desire to talk to one person ever again, then do not say you will give them a call sometime. Whether it is in business or romance or with friends, keeping your word goes a long way. A Buddhist master once said to me, “word, thought and deed have to be one”. So don’t say you will do something when you really don’t intend to do it.
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