To what extent are YOU making choices about your activities, your
values and your attitudes rather than being affected, and thus
controlled, by what others may think? It is difficult to be a real power
performer if you think it is important to behave like everyone else.
Do you back down because some folks do not agree with what you want
to do? Being confident in your ideas and your ability to think them
through is the starting place for innovation. Who do you ask when you
have a new and, maybe, different idea? Do you go to someone who is
likely to agree with you, or someone who is likely to tell you that you
are mistaken? Do you want to be supported.or stopped??? Many people
count on others to keep them from turning in new directions or taking
new risks. What is your pattern?
The extent to which other people affect you is important to examine.
Some people are very dependent on those around them and are greatly
influence by the moods, attitudes and opinions of others. Others keep
their own counsel and are empathetic to others while remaining true to
themselves. This is preferable, isn't it? Keep friends around you who
will ask you good questions and show interest in your ideas rather than
giving you their judgments and raining on your parade. Sure, you may
want their opinions to consider. That's helpful to your thinking. It's
the folks who believe that their opinions are "facts" that are the
difficulty.
Surround yourself with people who are living fully and pull each
other in the direction of your dreams. The extent to which you feel that
you control your future is the measure of what you will get out of
life. To some folks, life is like the weather--it just happens to them,
and they think they have no control. Really, though, life is a majestic
journey, an exciting adventure, that you orchestrate and direct by the
hundreds of choices you make every day.
Keep it in mind!How to Be Different
- Stop worrying about how other people see you, at least to some extent. You have to be confident in your own being before you'll successfully be able to be different.
Try not to compare yourself to others. If you actually are interested in being strange in order to learn from yourself and your world, rather than because you want to put on a facade of uniqueness (which you will get bored of and toss away eventually), do not make this into a contest.
- Reflect on yourself. Read books, watch others. What makes them special? try and find things that make you shine, and work on developing those to their full potential.
- Know that it is okay to imitate a variety of people in small ways. This is called "inspiration". For instance, you may adopt Jackie Kennedy's habit of speaking softly, Audrey Hepburn's hairstyle, and your best friend's sarcasm (but don't outright imitate her, this is annoying). By adopting habits that you truly love, and developing your own interests and personality traits, you will discover your true self.
- Adopt outfit ideas from a variety of sources. For instance, your shirt may be influenced by Ralph Lauren's latest collection, while your cool skirt might have been inspired by the 1940's movie you watched. (PS: Dress the way you truly want to, don't get too caught up in being different.) Wear things that you love and look good in, not things that are necessarily "in style."
- . Find good, positive friends with diverse interests. They will aid you in being more confident. Learn and sift out the positive different things you can learn from them.
- Be intelligent. Because if you know everything, you can better decide who you want to be. Be the kid who reads "A Doll's House" and "Gossip Girl". In this way you can develop a fully functional mind of your own, without being unduly influenced by others. At the same time you will learn to know exactly what is it you want.
- Keep an open mind and respect other people's differences. Don't reject one clique just to join another. A truly different person is someone brave enough to stand on their own. Someone who has their own backbone.
- Remember that self-discovery is an ongoing process. The person you are at 15 is not who you will be at 22, or 49, or 97! Our needs and interests change as we grow older. Things which were important to us then, sometimes don't seem to matter anymore. Wisdom replaces petty ambitions as we learn to grow from ourselves.
- Be bold! No need to be an ardent follower. Sometimes it is good to create a precedence and let others follow in your footsteps. This does not entail being arrogant or full of yourself. Being bold should define your strength and attributes as a fully functional and optimistic human being.
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