Life is a necklace with various events that have been strung together
in a series. In itself a particular event in life does not have
specific negative to positive connotations and most events are fairly
neutral in themselves. It is the mindset of the individual that is
viewing the event that makes a specific event positive or negative.
Take for example, a simple event like ‘rain’. For an indoor person who likes to sit in his portico enjoying a hot cup of coffee, nothing could be better. However, the same event can be fairly negative and spoil all plans for someone who has planned an extensive shopping trip with a friend.
For a father who excelled in basketball, a son who takes no interest in sports whatsoever is a situation that can cause a fair amount of tension. However, the same situation may not perturb the mother at all if she does not have specific pre-conceived notions about what she wants her son to be.
It is fairly clear by these examples that events in themselves are not positive or negative but it is the manner in which we perceive that that makes then stressful. And therefore, it is fairly obvious that all that we need to do to reduce situations that cause stress is to change the manner in which we perceive events.
However, executing such a suggestion is easier said than done. The fact of the matter is that our opinions on various situations are formed based on our parents, society and the various events that take place in our life. We form these opinions over time and then find it only too easy to overlay them onto other people and events.
If you sit and ponder for a while, you will realize that the significance of life is not as large as we often think it to be. How does it matter if your son is not interested in sports? He may excel in some other sphere that he is interested in. What significance does it have on your life per se if you are unable to go shopping on a specific day that you had decided? Why is it so important that you wear a specific dress that you planned to at the prom? Honestly, no situation is worth bothering yourself about. If something has been done, sitting and brooding about it is not likely to change what has already happened. Also, it is a wise man that can accept that there are certain situations where your hands may be tied. If you cannot change something, reflecting and sulking about it will not change things.
This does not mean that you let life pass you by. When certain events take place, assess the implications of the event, evaluate what role you can play in the future and take those actions. Thinking positively about the events and planning the next steps to take is a far better way of leading life than pouting over issues that you can do nothing about!
Take for example, a simple event like ‘rain’. For an indoor person who likes to sit in his portico enjoying a hot cup of coffee, nothing could be better. However, the same event can be fairly negative and spoil all plans for someone who has planned an extensive shopping trip with a friend.
If a simple event that is fairly neutral can be perceived as positive
and negative depending upon who is actually thinking of the event,
consider the enormity of the complexity when it comes to events that
have social implications.
For a father who excelled in basketball, a son who takes no interest in sports whatsoever is a situation that can cause a fair amount of tension. However, the same situation may not perturb the mother at all if she does not have specific pre-conceived notions about what she wants her son to be.
It is fairly clear by these examples that events in themselves are not positive or negative but it is the manner in which we perceive that that makes then stressful. And therefore, it is fairly obvious that all that we need to do to reduce situations that cause stress is to change the manner in which we perceive events.
We need to shed our biases, expectations, prejudices and subjectivity
and try and view events from a completely objective stance. There is
also a need to avoid being judgmental about the various events that take
place and the people who are responsible for those events.
However, executing such a suggestion is easier said than done. The fact of the matter is that our opinions on various situations are formed based on our parents, society and the various events that take place in our life. We form these opinions over time and then find it only too easy to overlay them onto other people and events.
To be able to actually view events and therefore life in an objective
manner you should be able to put yourself in the shoes of the other
person and then view the actions that have been taken. Try and
appreciate that your perspective may not and actually is not the ‘right’
perspective. In fact in most cases, there is no right and wrong and
there is no negative or positive situation in the first place.
If you sit and ponder for a while, you will realize that the significance of life is not as large as we often think it to be. How does it matter if your son is not interested in sports? He may excel in some other sphere that he is interested in. What significance does it have on your life per se if you are unable to go shopping on a specific day that you had decided? Why is it so important that you wear a specific dress that you planned to at the prom? Honestly, no situation is worth bothering yourself about. If something has been done, sitting and brooding about it is not likely to change what has already happened. Also, it is a wise man that can accept that there are certain situations where your hands may be tied. If you cannot change something, reflecting and sulking about it will not change things.
This does not mean that you let life pass you by. When certain events take place, assess the implications of the event, evaluate what role you can play in the future and take those actions. Thinking positively about the events and planning the next steps to take is a far better way of leading life than pouting over issues that you can do nothing about!
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